Journey Continues...

So now it is Tuesday August 13th around 12:30 am and I am finally in a room and settled in for the night.  I'm not sure what I was thinking when I thought I would actually get a good nights sleep some sleep.  Shortly after we were in the room, the nurse and nurses tech came in to talk to us and take my vitals and hook me up to a heart monitor.  When they left Scott moved the recliner up next to my bed and he got settled in for the night.  The first night they came into my room every hour to take my vitals, I know they took blood at one point, and I cannot remember what else they did.  I do remember that just when I was about to fall asleep is about the time they came in.  They really know how to time it.  Then at about 3:30 am they came in to take me to get my first MRI.  I assumed that if Scott woke up (he did not seem to have a hard time falling asleep or snoring) he would not be too worried that I was gone.  On my way to the MRI I asked the gentleman if he takes a lot of people to get MRI's in the middle of the night.  He told me they do about 6 a night.  I am not going to lie, I was surprised by the number.  I thought it was kinda high, but then again I really had no idea.  When I arrived in the MRI room I was not nervous or scared.  The tech told me that I had to lie perfectly still for about 45 minutes and towards the end he was going to inject dye in my IV for the last could of pictures.  I remember thinking that it is 3:30 am and I have not had any sleep, finally, I was going to get at least 45 minutes if sleep.  So I lied on the table and he put the padding and this giant cage on my head.  Then I closed my eyes and got settled in for my little nap.  He also gave me this ball to squeeze if I needed to get out.  I was not sure why I would need it but I knew it was there if I needed it.  I was almost relaxed when the machine started up and I am pretty sure I jumped!  I could not believe how loud it was!  I knew then that there was no way I was going to get any sleep.  I wished I asked the tech how many different sounds I should hear because then I would have an idea of how much longer I would have to lie there.  I was pretty sure that the machine did not take the pictures using magnetic imaging, it must be using sound waves.  Then I heard a voice saying that it was time to inject the dye and that I was almost done.  I was not a fan of the dye, I could feel it go in my arm. The dye felt tingly and burned a little.  All I wanted to do at that point was move.  There is something about knowing that you cannot move that really makes you want to move!  It was at that point that I wanted to squeeze that ball and get out of the machine.  I just needed to get out of there!  I just did not know if pushing the ball would make me have to do the whole thing over again...so I stuck it out.  I could be still just a little bit longer.

I got back to the room around 5 am and I think that is when I FINALLY slept for about an hour and a half, because that is when, my wonderful, nurse decided to come in.  I really do not understand why they feel the need to take my vitals so much.   So it looks like I was up for the day and since I was up for the day I think my sleeping husband should be up for the day also.  I was told that I had a packed day of doctors and therapists.  I had a visit from the occupational therapist, physical therapist, and speech therapist.  All of whom did these wonderful "tests", which reminded me of how uncoordinated and weak I was right now.  The occupational therapists had me do one test that involved me circling things on a paper with a pencil.  I was pretty alarmed when I realized that I could barely hold a pencil and had to concentrate on making a circle, all while doing a timed test! Both the physical and occupational therapists came and I was done with my "tests" by about 10:00.  Let me just say it was a long morning, especially with having no sleep!

I am guessing it was around 10:30 when a flock no a heard group of about 12 doctors came into my little tiny room.  And believe me I am not exaggerating the number of doctors.  You see I was at a phenomenal hospital, actually a phenomenal teaching hospital.  So yes, in my little room there was the head neurologist and 11 "doctors in training" as I will call them.  All in their crisp white lab coats and notebooks and each one trying to standout from the other.  It was as if I was in a scene from Grey's Anatomy.  The "doctor in training" who was the elected to talk was explaining my CT results and blood test results.  He said that my CT scan was great and that I did not have a stroke.  I honestly was bummed when he said that I did not have a stroke.  I know strokes are very serious, but I thought that was the simplest reason for me being in the hospital.  I mean I can change my diet, take an aspirin and have therapy.  Because if it was not a stroke, then what could it be.   Then he asked if we had any questions.  I replied "The first question I have is when can I eat, I am starving."  The "doctor in training" said that there is no reason why I cannot eat.  I then told him I thought I was having some test done today where the would knock me out and that is why I could not eat.  He then replied that they did not need to do that test anymore, because they were going to need to do a different test, a spinal tap, because it was believed that I had MS.  After he said that I think both Scott and my heart stopped.  We are pretty sure that he was not suppose to tell us this in the manner he did and we really think he let this info slip.  It was in this very moment that our lives changed.  I remember feeling as if I was stuck in a whirlpool of white lab coats.  This was the first time that day, that I tried to hold back the tears.  I just wanted all of those doctors to leave and I wanted to pretend that this never happened.  Then he asked if we had any other questions.  Scott let out a laugh and said "oh yes we have a lot".  That is when, my favorite doctor, from the back row said that maybe they could come back when there were not so many of them.  We told him that was a great idea.  Right before the sea of lab coats left I told them that our daughters first day of school was on Thursday.  I asked them, through a stream of tears, what they chances were that I could be home for that.  I told you before that I was telling everyone that I saw.  I remember the look on some of the doctors faces, a look of pity and sorrow.  Then the head doctor said that there should not be a problem with me being home by Thursday.  Finally the first good news!  After the sea of white coats left, Scott looked at me and pulled me into his arms and I just broke down and cried a very hard cry.  I told him I was sorry for crying and he told me that there is absolutely nothing to be sorry about.  I then told him I was sorry for crying, because I was not a pretty crier.  Then the nurse came in to get my lunch choice and she reassured me that there are some of the best doctors here and that I would be ok.  At that point all I wanted to do was go to bed and wake up with all of this being a bad dream.